Journal Entries- March 2, 2022

I started a new book last night my work’s Latinx ERG suggested for the book club. It was perfect timing as I was looking for a new book to read. The book is written by 15 Latinx authors about various experiences with the Latin Diaspora. I read the first chapter last night and reluctantly put the book fown for bed. I could have read for hours it was soooo good! I love how much it made me think and reflect on my own life and upbringing. How I know I will never know what its like to be of latin origin growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood. How I don’t know what it’s like to be queer and felt not accepted by my own family, my own curch, and my own people. How truly awful some people can be. How truly unaccpeted/ing some people can be and feel. What I do now and what was so amazing to read is how amazing it feels to find what makes you happy. Last night I realized just how much writing means to me and makes me happy. And in whatever capacity I want it to. That is truly powerful and something I will hold on to for the rest of my life.

March 3, 2022

Peace of mind, peace of body. Peace of body, peace of mind. My noom lesson talked today about the powerful relationship between our bodies and our minds, and how each can affect the other. Positively and negatively. How physical stress can lead to physiological stress, reaised cortisol levels, and racing thoughts. The opposite is true too. How confident posture and low stress can lead to low cortisol levels and a clear mind. I am as excited to try this technique as I have been for any technique maybe due to my education and work background. OR maybe because it hit home for me.

At the suggestion of a patient of mine, I gave Lumenate a try this morning. It is an app designed on the principle of phototherapy and psychdelic brain activity. As someone who has never experienced psychadelics, I was and am intrigued. The jury is still out after my first session. Maybe it is working more than I think, like subconciously or something. Like it is having an unrealized lasting effect. I will say it was a beautiful light show, and should be a reflection of my brain activity, so I’ll give my brain and I credit where credit is due. I am excited to keep going with it and experience all the feelings and sensations and thoughts and emotions that come with.

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