A Gentle Reframe

Raise your hand if you’ve felt like this too. I would do stuff for others more to get recognition than out of the goodness of my heart. Now, this wasn’t every time, but more often than not. And if someone didn’t say thank you, I would be left feeling regretful and frustrated. Like, “why did I just help you if you’re not even going to have the decency to thank me?”

So here I was, listening to my meditation for the morning, and this scenario came up. The teacher was saying the exact same things I was doing. They too were helping others more for their own recognition. I was starting to listen more deeply…..And then they mentioned something that just felt like it clicked.

I thought to myself, WOW! Why didn’t I think of that?! A gentle reframe and mindset shift was the solution. Rather than helping for my own self-recognition, I would begin helping others to see the joy on their faces. I would help others so that they could feel a little more positive, grateful, joy. Seeing the joy and happiness on another gives me my own feelings of joy and happiness. WOW! What a gentle reframe!

So the next time you find yourself doing good for others for your own recognition, first, know that this is normal. Then try this gentle reframe. Bring your awareness to the other’s joy and happiness as a result of your good deed. And notice the effect this has on your own feelings.

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