Failures Are Successes

“My greatest success in life has been failing”

Slippery Slopes Ahead

September 2022. I am caring for myself more than ever. Filling my cup. I am practicing self-compassion and loving kindness. I am embracing all of my emotions. Sounds lovely right? Well it wasn’t always this way. Little did I know my failures are successes. Think about that for a moment and let me go back in time to tell you a little story.

August 2021. I just developed my first symptoms of eczema. At this time I had no idea what it was or why I developed it. All I knew was that I was feeling confused.

Time progressed, and so did my mood. Feelings of confusion turned to frustration and anger. Why was this happening to me? What did I do to deserve this?

The Breaking Point

January 2022. My skin was in full blown panic mode. The eczema had spread from my right wrist to all over my body. I was a shell of myself. Getting dressed in the dark for fear of looking at what my body had become. Cancelling hang outs because I was feeling embarrassed so show myself in public. Buying new clothes because the sensation of rubbing against my eczema was unbearable.

I felt like a failure. I felt broken. Completely down on myself. Pissed off a what I had become. Honestly, I didn’t even know who I was. Sure I was feeling angry at my eczema, who wouldn’t be? I was also feeling angry at myself. I was at my lowest point. Little did I know this failure would become my life’s greatest success (to date).

Rainbows And Unicorns

This lowest point in my life led me to mindfulness. Back in January, I made a silent promise to myself. That promise was to start taking care of myself. Because if I didn’t, who would? Now I argue my wife would, but even she (the strongest woman I know besides my mother) could only sustain that level of support for so long. So I took a chance on myself.

Every day I spent a few minutes filling my cup. Journaling. Breathing. Meditating. Writing. I began seeing a therapist again. Separating myself from my thoughts. Writing them on paper (or typing). I began sharing my story. My mindfulness journey began to evolve.

This failure had become my greatest success.

Okay, Not Always Rainbows And Unicorns

I know what you may be thinking. Too good to be true. And yes, while everything you have read up until this point is 100% true, it’s not always rainbows and unicorns. Sure, a lot of my posts read positive, and for good reason. I have worked tirelessly to get to this point. But every day I am faced with opportunities to grow, to succeed, and more importantly, to fail.

Every Day Practice

The other day I practiced a “being present” meditation. In the meditation it talked about being present with every moment. Every emotion. Every thought. This got me thinking. See our brains aren’t programmed to be positive all the time. That’s unsustainable. Well shoot, you’re saying all those positive affirmations have been for nothing. Not at all. Truth is, it’s inevitable to feel down. It’s normal to feel angry. To feel upset. To feel frustrated. It’s when we try and force ourselves to think positively all the time, we actually begin to create more distance between the two. Only when we fully embrace these “negative” emotions that we are liberated.

One Last Time, Failures Are Successes

I go back to, failures are successes, and I think for a moment. I’d thought you were crazy if you told me this 6 months ago. When I was at my lowest point, unsure if I could ever climb back out. Seeing where I’m at today, sometimes taking the road less traveled is exactly what we need. Sometimes failures are successes.

Want to follow along more of my journey? Feel free to like this page, or connect with me on Linked In, here.

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